You know what? This wait sucks.
Okay, maybe that wasn't the most polite way to put it, but it does. The agencies really don't want to share where you are on the wait list. It's like waiting for the cable guy -- they don't want to give you a ballpark estimate on your wait time: "A service representative will be at your home between 8:30 a.m. Thursday morning and the end of time. Will someone be at home?" Argh!!
I'm typically pretty stoic, but I got weepy last night. And really, compared to Ann at Taiwan Treasure, I have no grounds to complain. Ann has managed to wait, patiently and with good humor, for many times over the length of our wait. She's a champ.
Me? I just want some information. Something a little less imprecise. Tell me: "around 9 months." Tell me: "around 18 months." Fine. I'm good with that. But telling me "somewhere between 4 months and a year" is totally hard to deal with.
We're not in the birth mother program. Nope. Maybe we could just extrapolate a little from the rate of referrals? Please?
So. That's my rant of the day. I realize, because my husband keeps reminding me, that there are legitimate business reasons for the agencies not to broadcast wait times or list ranking. I also know some of you are suffering through the same thing, probably a lot more quietly than I am. And reading your blogs helps. A little. :-)
As Mary-Mia so aptly put it on her blog Do they have Salsa in China? and her accompanying t-shirts: "No, still waiting. No, no news. Yes, I'll have a double."
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
The Wait
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4 comments:
Hun, I hear ya. I wish agencies could just send out a mass email whenever referrals came and then you'd know you were moved up a spot!! What's the harm?? At least it gives you some hope knowing you're next, or whatever!! (Or, in my case, #89 instead of #90!! Hahaha!!)
Like you said, I suppose they have their reasons for not giving out such updates, but I agree... it's definitely hard not having more information. I guess the best thing to do is just plan on the longest end of the timeframe and then hope to be pleasantly surprised sooner!! (So cliche isn't it?? I don't think I'm helping you feel better!!)
I think a good stiff drink would be in order, Chairman Mom! I got one of those over the weekend (a strong mojito!) and it was just the ticket!! :)
Hugs,
Rebecca
untilwemeetintaiwan.blogspot.com
I hope you receive your referral soon! Good luck to you!
I think...no I know it is harder to adopt from China first and then go to another country. It is so structured and predictable in China. We had LIDs and we knew how many referrals had come that month, etc...This feels somewhat erratic and scary at times.
I so feel your pain and frustration. I don't expect ANYTHING more than good communication and dependability. I wish the system were different, but it's not, so, I have to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. I am so glad I have comfortable big girl panties and women like you that feel the same as me.
I hear ya. I get tired of the explanation of what "average" means. Trust me I know what average means. And really thanks for the thumbs up, but I don't feel like I'm dealing with it well. BUT...I will say that when people ask me "how" our response is always "what choice do we have, we can be upset everyday...or just deal with it"
Oh and we've been waiting so long we're pretty much numb to the wait...:0)
I was showing hubby your blog and how you mentioned us...
his response
"she doesn't live with you!!"
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