Adoptive daughter treated differently OR a modern day Shakespearean drama

Gentle readers, I am dismayed to say that we have the makings of a Shakespearean drama-- what you might genteelly call "family issues." (Kind of like Lear had "family issues!") In short, our beloved adoptive daughter is treated differently than the other family kids by the extended family.

Our adopted daughter gets, for example, lesser presents than the bio grandchildren from her paternal grandmother. When dear daughter came home from China, the grandmother offered to babysit my adoptive daughter when she came home (in lieu of daycare) "for about six months" and her bio granddaughter of about the same age indefinitely. In fact, she still keeps the bio granddaughter regularly.

They pooh-poohed the idea of dear daughter taking Chinese language and culture classes or in any way honoring the culture that is her birthright. They loudly insisted she be "just like any other kid."

They refused to learn anything about adoption culture, including the meaning of "Gotcha Day," or anything else in that vein. I brought them quantities of literature on the topic which, apparently, went unread.

Oh and, on an unrelated but infuriating note, the last time paternal grandmother watched her, our daughter got a burn on her arm which the grandparents could not adequately explain. They actually asked "did she have that burn when she got here?"

They can't understand why I would have issues with any of that.

It'll get a lot more Shakespearean when daughter #2 arrives. Perhaps moving to Florida from our Midwestern home to be near Grandma Penny is an option... and don't think we haven't seriously considered a geographic solution!